In this course the focus is on the following aspects:

• Grief counseling
• Typical mourning phases as well as mourning tasks
• Manifestations of complicated grief
• Psychic experiences of the dying
• The conversation with the dying
• The pastoral guidance of the terminal patient
• The dying stages
• The dying process
• Personal experiences about death as well as the grieving process

The structure of this course is basically the following:

Chapter 1. GENERAL GUIDELINES FOR HOSPITAL VISITING ……………………………

The phases of being ill……………………………………………………………………………..

o  The pre-operative phase ……………………………………………………………………….

o  The post-operative phase ……………………………………………………………………..

The role of the family ……………………………………………………………………………….

o  How do threatened families react?………………………………………………………….

    Important guidelines for ill persons and their families

o  Do’s and don’ts of hospital visits …………………………………………………………….

o  Co-operation with the nursing staff………………………………………………………….

Guidelines with reference to Scripture usage ………………………………………………

o  Parts of Scripture that can be used …………………………………………………………

o  The auxiliary worker ……………………………………………………………………………..

o  The ill person……………………………………………………………………………………….

o  God ……………………………………………………………………………………………………

o  The emotional climate …………………………………………………………………………..

o  Non-verbal communication ……………………………………………………………………

o  You start by listening …………………………………………………………………………….

o  What will you speak about? …………………………………………………………………..

o  Tips about your conversation …………………………………………………………………

Chapter 2. GRIEF COUNSELLING …………………………………………………………………….

Typical phases of grieving ………………………………………………………………………..

o  Shock and denial………………………………………………………………………………….

o  Anger ………………………………………………………………………………………………..

o  Depression ………………………………………………………………………………………….

o  Bargaining …………………………………………………………………………………………..

o  Sadness ……………………………………………………………………………………………..

o  Closure and acceptance ……………………………………………………………………….

The four grief tasks………………………………………………………………………………….

o  Acceptance of reality …………………………………………………………………………….

o  The experiencing of pain and sorrow ………………………………………………………

o  Adjustment to new surroundings/situation………………………………………………..

o  Re-investment of emotional energy…………………………………………………………

Chapter 3. PSYCHIC EXPERIENCES OF THE DYING PERSON…………………………..

Psychic experiences of the dying person ……………………………………………………

o  Loneliness …………………………………………………………………………………………..

o Isolation………………………………………………………………………………………………

o  Loss of human dignity …………………………………………………………………………..

o  Loss of ruling power ……………………………………………………………………………..

o  Fear and anxiety of death ……………………………………………………………………..

o  Security ………………………………………………………………………………………………

o  Love …………………………………………………………………………………………………..

o  The need of respect ……………………………………………………………………………..

o  The need of independence ……………………………………………………………………

o  Importance of the secondary traumatised ………………………………………………..

Chapter 4. THE CONVERSATION WITH THE DYING PERSON ……………………………

Verbal communication with dying people…………………………………………………….

• The conversation between the doctor and the dying patient
• The conversation between the pastor and the dying patient ……………………….

o  Guidelines for facilitators ……………………………………………………………………….

• Some further aspects that needs attention for effective counselling …………….
• Further techniques that can enhance conversation……………………………………

o  Physicality is that which binds human to human ……………………………………….

Chapter 5. PASTORAL GUIDANCE FOR THE TERMINAL PATIENT

The dying phases ……………………………………………………………………………………

o  Shock phase ……………………………………………………………………………………….

o  Denial phase ……………………………………………………………………………………….

o  Rebellion or anger………………………………………………………………………………..

o  Depression ………………………………………………………………………………………….

o  Negotiation ………………………………………………………………………………………….

o  Acceptance …………………………………………………………………………………………

Aspects that can influence spiritual and emotional stability ……………………………

o  Religious conviction ……………………………………………………………………………..

o Unconfessed trespasses ……………………………………………………………………….

             Unresolved hurt and pain from the past must get attention …………………………

o Unresolved loss……………………………………………………………………………………

o Forgiveness…………………………………………………………………………………………

o Abnormal anxiety …………………………………………………………………………………

  The cancelling out of unhealthy emotional bonds from the past ………………….

Aspects that broadens perspective ……………………………………………………………

o In every crisis is an opportunity of growth ………………………………………………..

o Preparation for an eternity task ………………………………………………………………

o The role of pain in our lives ……………………………………………………………………

The seven cross words of Jesus as guideline to death guidance……………………

o First word on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing!”

             Second word on the cross: “Today you will be in paradise with Me “ ……………

Third word on the cross: “When Jesus saw His mother …He said to her: ‘There is your son’

            After that He says to the disciple: ‘There is your mother.’ From that moment the disciple

            took her into his hom

Fourth word on the cross: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?

Fifth word on the cross: “I am thirsty.” …………………………………………………….

 Sixth word on the cross: “It is finished!”……………………………………………………

           Seventh word on the cross: “Father, into Your hands I surrender My Spir”

Chapter 6. THE PROCESS OF DYING………………………………………………………………

Chapter 7. PERSONAL EXPERIENCE …………………………………………………………….

• The world continues as if nothing has happened …………………………………………
• Farewell to the body ………………………………………………………………………………..
• The first night………………………………………………………………………………………….
• A need for the finest detail ………………………………………………………………………..
• The funeral …………………………………………………………………………………………….
• Do not try to sidestep pain………………………………………………………………………..
• Old friends who do not arrive…………………………………………………………………….
• Some pull you back rather than ahead ……………………………………………………….
• The many questions ………………………………………………………………………………..
• It is not a time to try to be ‘strong’ …………………………………………………………….
• Initially live one day at a time…………………………………………………………………….
• Plan ahead for difficult times …………………………………………………………………….
• Keep yourself busy meaningfully ……………………………………………………………….
• Formulate new aims and goals………………………………………………………………….
• The first-year anniversary …………………………………………………………………………
• Refined people ……………………………………………………………………………………….
• A new theology ……………………………………………………………………………………….
• Re-arranging of priorities ………………………………………………………………………….
• In retrospect …………………………………………………………………………………………..